fool me once, shame on you..

This is the 2nd time that I have felt this way and this time I have no one but myself to blame. It's embarrassing. I forgave the first offense because I thought the apologies and feelings were sincere, but now I find myself questioning that. To be honest the thing that hurts me most is just the feeling that he didn't give a shit about how I feel. I mean, I was really hopeful to do all the things we planned to do together, but what seems to disappoint me most is the feeling of distrust/betrayal. I trusted him to act with my feelings in mind, I suppose. Like the first time he did wrong he came forward to me. Instead he has been griping about me to people with big mouths. So it gets around to me and I think "wow, all those things I did and all the things he said meant nothing" all because he went around my back. It would have hurt so much less if he just told me he thought things weren't going to work out. At least then I wouldn't have felt so betrayed. Now I find it hard to face certain people and I feel like I have no one to talk to about how I am feeling. The last thing I want is to come off as if I just want to portray him in the worst way possible. I really don't want to do that. I'm just really upset and hurt, but I don't honestly think he's a bad person. I just think he's confused, has some shit to figure out and has made some seriously poor judgment calls. We all do and I have just been made an example of that... I made a bad judgment call, let myself get ahead of..well..myself. I leaped before I looked. Shame on me.